There is no such thing as perfect. Often our disillusionment in life and our circumstances comes because we believe things should be another way.
I don’t know about you, but I grew up watching disney movies and making up my mind that the relationships that I saw in them was what I wanted. I wanted love to be perfect. I wanted my life to be perfect and was sure that when it was, then I would be truly living it. Then my life would be set. Then I would be happy.
But I never got there. I always felt there was something missing in my life. If my circumstances weren’t perfect, like I had been led to believe they needed to be, I was unhappy.
It shows up in my relationship with my wife all the time. I have certain ideas about how relationships ‘should be’ and how they should operate. Some of these are unrealistic. For example, there is no person that can be happy and present all of the time. Sometimes my wife is stressed. Sometimes she is tired, even exhausted; she is looking after the kids and working. Sometimes I am. Sometimes we take it out on each other, even though this is the last thing we want to do. We always clean it up with each other afterwards, but this is just part of being human. I need to be-able to check my expectations in order for me to show up in this relationship. I need to be-able to ask myself, is this a realistic expectation? Or is it getting in the way of my relationship? Did I form this belief at an earlier moment perhaps when I was watching a movie? And maybe, just maybe, it is an unproductive belief.
Checking myself is part of living a happy life, because when I am able to surrender the beliefs that aren’t productive, I am able to enjoy the moment. I’m able to appreciate the people around me for all that they are, not stay attached to what I expect them to be.
It’s always a great idea to be aware of the beliefs that we have running in the background. And to ask ourselves, what’s really going on here? Is it about the other person? Or is it about me? What stories did I create about life as a younger person that are getting in the way of my true happiness?
See if you can drop your expectations of others. See if you can see them through loving and accepting eyes. Allow life to be perfect as is. Right now. There’s always going to be something, that’s not the way you want it. See if you can surrender and find your happiness anyway.