I am in the middle of running an 8-week workshop. I love teaching. It’s one of my favourite things to do, but I have also had a lot of stuff come up for me. This is a brand new course, and although I have been engaged in this content for years, I have never taught it before. All of that stuff has come up for me – the questioning, the doubt. Is it enough? Are the students getting benefit? Can I do this? I am human. Sometimes I will think that I didn’t deliver some of the content in the way I wanted. Sometimes I will remember that I wanted to include something that I forgot to.
I want it to be perfect, but the truth is, it will never be. It’s not meant to be. Somehow we were taught that when we show up for others, we need to be perfect. It needs to be perfect. This can be one of the most crippling beliefs. It stops people from doing things they really want to do, because they don’t give themselves permission to move forward unless they know it will be perfect. They believe that at least living in this way, they will avoid the sting of rejection, criticism or judgement. But, we human beings think we are a lot weaker than we are.
I watch my thoughts. Sometimes I smile at them. Sometimes I believe them. But I know part of being human is having these thoughts. It is doubting ourselves, moving forward anyway, and then seeing in delight what we are made of. Growth isn’t always easy, but it’s always satisfying.
I choose to overcome my fears regardless of how loud they get. I choose to keep following my heart, although I may doubt, although I may feel so bloody human sometimes. This is what life is all about.
I invite you to move forward with something you have been wanting to do for a while, but haven’t yet given yourself permission to.
It is a triumph for the soul when we do this. When we cross the line, and find that on the other side we can fly. Or we find on the other side that we have the courage to fail, pick ourselves up and try again.
So here’s to throwing our hat over the wall, and jumping over to see what is on the other side, because, why not?